Today I drove home from the Oregon Coast. I spend a week there every fall, in the same house that I rent. I go with myself and our dog, and I rest and reflect and read...and be still.
I wanted to begin my 300 mile trek with a full tank of gas so I pulled into a gas station within my first 10 minutes. A man of about 60 with -John- on his service station issued uniform came out to greet me.
Here's a little something about me - I'm not a fan of the question 'how are you?'. Don't care for it as a passing greeting in the morning, when arriving at work. Flows right out of some people's mouth without even thinking about it. I don't ask this question, unless I pose it with an element of care and concern, and usually I will rephrase it somehow. So back to John -
I lean out and hand John my debit card to swipe and I look him in the eye and ask - 'how is your morning going?' and he says right back - 'well I've been up since 12:30 this morning (it is 9:30 am) taking care of my wife, she is ill'. So I step out of my vehicle now so I can face him while he pumps my gas. I inquire further because he is a chatty guy and ask if she has a chronic illness to which he says - 'yes, type 1 diabetes, she has a prosthetic'. So I say how sorry I am about her being ill and how special I think he is because he cares for her. He says they been married 35 years, and I say bravo, this is encouraging for me to hear. I mention that these are uncommon statistics, to be married for so long, and I thank him for caring for her again, telling him that I will remember him and his wife tonight when I pray to close out my day. He thanks me and I get in my car and drive away.
I remembered John all day long, and now into the evening as I close out my day. These are the best interactions, these restore my faith in humanity. This touchstone of grace we can share with others.
Let's bring back the bumper sticker phenomenon that was all the rage a few years back -
Practice random acts of kindness.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Hey You're guests in my corn
My favorite movie is Field of Dreams. It's all about the still, small voice that speaks to us. If we are listening, we may find ourselves obeying and following its lead. The main character in this film goes above and beyond, denying common sense, bucking the criticism and mocking from his farmer friends he turns a large portion of his main crop into a baseball diamond because "if you build it, he will come." Upon completion, he receives another profound whispered message, that makes no sense at the time, but is an integral piece of the entire puzzle as he painstakingly moves his feet, drives his old VW van and picks up a hitchhiker to solve the mystery of the voice. All the while he is operating under the belief that all these steps are essential to provide healing for another character in the movie. Until the end, when it is revealed that all these building blocks were leading him on the path to healing his relationship with his deceased father.
Today I have been sitting ocean side, on the deck watching the waves. I also have a thicket of trees, almost making a forest also in my view. I have seen people erupt from the path walking from the shore inland, and I have seen people venture into woods, cautiously, not sure if they are on the right path. Why be cautious about every path we take. Over analyzing and pondering until we rationalize every pro and con before proceeding ahead. Zaps the joy right out of the adventure.
I'm mustering up the courage myself to pursue a dream I have, a creative process, a keen idea. I'm wanting to "go the distance" so I am gathering motivation through prayer and reading and now blogging. As I focus on this desire purposefully an alignment falls into place in my path. What I read and my thoughts come together for this purpose and I am encouraged.
I have never read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, but I read an interview that Oprah did with him and it spoke to me in this season I am entering. Specifically a paragraph about calling or purpose which he refers to as "a personal legend" : "a personal legend is the reason you are here. It's as simple as that. You can fill your hours and days with things that are meaningless. But you know you have a reason to be here. It is the only thing that gives you enthusiasm."
Even tho it's only two blog entries, I have begun to write. Many small voices have contributed to this journey. I listened to you for many years, I am grateful for your encouragement. I have been a guest in many writer's 'cornfields', now I am planting seeds of my own.
Today I have been sitting ocean side, on the deck watching the waves. I also have a thicket of trees, almost making a forest also in my view. I have seen people erupt from the path walking from the shore inland, and I have seen people venture into woods, cautiously, not sure if they are on the right path. Why be cautious about every path we take. Over analyzing and pondering until we rationalize every pro and con before proceeding ahead. Zaps the joy right out of the adventure.
I'm mustering up the courage myself to pursue a dream I have, a creative process, a keen idea. I'm wanting to "go the distance" so I am gathering motivation through prayer and reading and now blogging. As I focus on this desire purposefully an alignment falls into place in my path. What I read and my thoughts come together for this purpose and I am encouraged.
I have never read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, but I read an interview that Oprah did with him and it spoke to me in this season I am entering. Specifically a paragraph about calling or purpose which he refers to as "a personal legend" : "a personal legend is the reason you are here. It's as simple as that. You can fill your hours and days with things that are meaningless. But you know you have a reason to be here. It is the only thing that gives you enthusiasm."
Even tho it's only two blog entries, I have begun to write. Many small voices have contributed to this journey. I listened to you for many years, I am grateful for your encouragement. I have been a guest in many writer's 'cornfields', now I am planting seeds of my own.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Hurt feelings
I'm going to act on the voices of encouragement I have heard for many years from a variety of people - and - write, or blog. I read a few blogs, and after reading one today, and following it to 'write 31 days' I thought I would kick off 2 days early by practicing here. On my Instagram profile it says "blogger wanna-be", now I can update that profile to - blogger.
I go to the Oregon Coast every year in late September. This tradition began in 1995, when I found a for rent by owner ad in a company newsletter at the place I worked. I had never heard of the small coastal town where this cabin was located, and since "Google" hadn't really erupted yet, I pulled out an actual map to find this quaint little town south of Lincoln City. Since I had a close friend at this time in my life, I suggested we go together, and it became our short tradition through September 2000, when our friendship unraveled. I packed up in 2001 and have been taking this sacred 'me and Jesus' retreat every year since. So I write this from my cozy place indoors as I watch the misty rain and gray Pacific Ocean. This was the only assignment I gave myself as I prepared to come, I must begin my blog, earnestly. I have a strong desire to put on paper my memories and even lessons I have learned as I am a sojourner here on earth. My family will tell you I have an uncanny memory for details, dates of events, birthdays. I am compelled to jot them down. I just read that Bob Goff has over 500 pages of written memories, events. He records them, because they matter, to him. My memories hold this sacredness also, to me, so I want to record them.
The essential elements of my yearly retreat are - relax, restore, read. Every year I read the same book, and take notes in a separate journal. It is so interesting to me to retrace those familiar passages, and then review my notes from previous years. The same book speaks to me differently each year, depending on where I am personally, professionally, spiritually, mentally.
I am at a coastal retreat, but I am not removed or inaccessible from the ones I love. Earlier today when spoke with my husband he shared a disparaging personal encounter with me that had just happened to him at the local Lowes. He works with his brain and his hands. He creates an image, then fabricates then builds and installs. He is brilliant, smartest person I know. He reads and studies and absorbs and applies. Once I teased him and asked what it felt like to have completely read the internet. So he was at Lowes to pick up materials to build something for work. He drives a company provided vehicle, a nicely equipped box truck with ladder rack. His company is based out of Oregon and we live in Washington so it has Oregon license plates. This shouldn't matter, but it does sometimes, he gets profanities yelled out the window at him, "go home you f** duck" - absurd waste of energy on the part of immature WA residents. Today though at Lowes, a elderly woman of probably 80 had just parked her Prius about 4 stalls down from his truck. He was loading his materials and the grouchy woman says "you guys in your big work trucks should park way out in the lot to save the closer parking spots for us", he was surprised by her assertiveness. So he says "this is a big parking lot with many open spots, plenty for all, especially today on a rainy day" and she blurts back a very rude remark "you're fat, you need the exercise anyway, park farther away."
When he shared this encounter he had with a rude stranger it fueled an instant response in me. It also broke my heart. In my search for meaning and understanding I can dig into my reservoir of keen psychology quotes to dampen the effect - "hurt people hurt people" or the teachings of Jesus - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"; but in the moment I wanted to retaliate, even from my distant vantage point miles down the coast. I wanted to say "shut up" to that woman, and "shame on you, you're everything that's wrong with the world."
Civility is lacking in our world. Common social courtesy, understanding what is right and what is wrong. Tact, self-control, the ability not to speak, not to notice. It's disheartening to me, I know this will never change, it is the sickness of humankind. Loved ones hurt loved ones, strangers inflict hurt on strangers. Some would argue one is worse than the other, but really, what it takes to forge through and process the hurt and forgive is the same. It takes work, it takes positive interactions and deposits from family and colleagues to balance out the withdrawals. It takes time, to be removed from the incident and do the work of healing.
Do what you can to make an outing to a public place like a store, restaurant, movie theater, church a pleasantry for those you encounter. Try, try harder.
My project T.A.G. kick-off - stay engaged to find out what this means and how it can and hopefully will open dialogue by those of us that want to practice the virtues of care and compassion.
Proverbs 13:12 - hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
I go to the Oregon Coast every year in late September. This tradition began in 1995, when I found a for rent by owner ad in a company newsletter at the place I worked. I had never heard of the small coastal town where this cabin was located, and since "Google" hadn't really erupted yet, I pulled out an actual map to find this quaint little town south of Lincoln City. Since I had a close friend at this time in my life, I suggested we go together, and it became our short tradition through September 2000, when our friendship unraveled. I packed up in 2001 and have been taking this sacred 'me and Jesus' retreat every year since. So I write this from my cozy place indoors as I watch the misty rain and gray Pacific Ocean. This was the only assignment I gave myself as I prepared to come, I must begin my blog, earnestly. I have a strong desire to put on paper my memories and even lessons I have learned as I am a sojourner here on earth. My family will tell you I have an uncanny memory for details, dates of events, birthdays. I am compelled to jot them down. I just read that Bob Goff has over 500 pages of written memories, events. He records them, because they matter, to him. My memories hold this sacredness also, to me, so I want to record them.
The essential elements of my yearly retreat are - relax, restore, read. Every year I read the same book, and take notes in a separate journal. It is so interesting to me to retrace those familiar passages, and then review my notes from previous years. The same book speaks to me differently each year, depending on where I am personally, professionally, spiritually, mentally.
I am at a coastal retreat, but I am not removed or inaccessible from the ones I love. Earlier today when spoke with my husband he shared a disparaging personal encounter with me that had just happened to him at the local Lowes. He works with his brain and his hands. He creates an image, then fabricates then builds and installs. He is brilliant, smartest person I know. He reads and studies and absorbs and applies. Once I teased him and asked what it felt like to have completely read the internet. So he was at Lowes to pick up materials to build something for work. He drives a company provided vehicle, a nicely equipped box truck with ladder rack. His company is based out of Oregon and we live in Washington so it has Oregon license plates. This shouldn't matter, but it does sometimes, he gets profanities yelled out the window at him, "go home you f** duck" - absurd waste of energy on the part of immature WA residents. Today though at Lowes, a elderly woman of probably 80 had just parked her Prius about 4 stalls down from his truck. He was loading his materials and the grouchy woman says "you guys in your big work trucks should park way out in the lot to save the closer parking spots for us", he was surprised by her assertiveness. So he says "this is a big parking lot with many open spots, plenty for all, especially today on a rainy day" and she blurts back a very rude remark "you're fat, you need the exercise anyway, park farther away."
When he shared this encounter he had with a rude stranger it fueled an instant response in me. It also broke my heart. In my search for meaning and understanding I can dig into my reservoir of keen psychology quotes to dampen the effect - "hurt people hurt people" or the teachings of Jesus - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"; but in the moment I wanted to retaliate, even from my distant vantage point miles down the coast. I wanted to say "shut up" to that woman, and "shame on you, you're everything that's wrong with the world."
Civility is lacking in our world. Common social courtesy, understanding what is right and what is wrong. Tact, self-control, the ability not to speak, not to notice. It's disheartening to me, I know this will never change, it is the sickness of humankind. Loved ones hurt loved ones, strangers inflict hurt on strangers. Some would argue one is worse than the other, but really, what it takes to forge through and process the hurt and forgive is the same. It takes work, it takes positive interactions and deposits from family and colleagues to balance out the withdrawals. It takes time, to be removed from the incident and do the work of healing.
Do what you can to make an outing to a public place like a store, restaurant, movie theater, church a pleasantry for those you encounter. Try, try harder.
My project T.A.G. kick-off - stay engaged to find out what this means and how it can and hopefully will open dialogue by those of us that want to practice the virtues of care and compassion.
Proverbs 13:12 - hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
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